...a little intro

»into a little thing i called life

I just feel the need to clarify or simply mention a few things (this is not a blog entry). Normally I would not write blog nor will I ever talk about one thing in particular and continue on with it...this little area will serve as a place for my blog for school. And to be a little different I decided to use my personal site as such rather than going and setting an account at some blog space website or whatever. Beside being different, I didn't want this site to remain inactive and also how could I discard this little design I worked so hard in creating and coding. It was a bitch to code and to design...I'm still a little unsure why I made it pink, hate the color. So with such, I bid you ado to do whatever you please, read the blog if you must but be forwarn, I am not the most knowledgable in things of this world and will spit out random bullshit without proof...so with this warning of some sort off you go...

...blog

»focused inquiry

Post 01.15.08-02.08.08 || 02.10.08-02.22.08

apr. 29, 2008: Karma man, karma

Today was supposed to be a good day...my karma should be a straight line --------------. I haven't done anything wrong, made fun of anyone, or anything bad for that matter of fact. But today started off like this.... ---\___________. My karma went down before day actually started. As I was walking to class, my heal got stuck in the sidewalk and I almost fell face forward. I was like oh dear god...this is just not looking to be a good day despite the bright shiny sun. I had an exam in that class...my friend and I went in and discover someone took our seat...the seat that we have been sitting since the beginning of class. Anyway, we let that slide. Than all of a sudden, the fire alarm rung before class could even start. Just bad...bad bad bad! So anyway we went to another classroom to start our exam (the class was split into two building, we chose oliver). Midway through our professor came in and told us to get out and go back to our original classroom because another class was about to start. Time is ticking away on our exam...just not good at all. As I got to the second part of the exam, my calculation just would not work...and I did everything right because I went back and check my notes...but nothing work. And of course as a final blow to the face...my friend and I did not win anything at that FI party...life suck..it really really does.
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chansotheary

apr. 27, 2008: Maikado

I realized, I'm not a musical person. Sweeney Todd, great movie can't understand worth shit they are singing about, but a great movie...and this opera is no different. This time it is just worst...there is no loud blasting sound system and strange singing...I just can't do singing...my hearing is god damn awful...opera is just not for me either. The opera was wonderful but only when they spoke...I just don't do singing. -_-.
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chansotheary

apr. 16, 2008: ToT

My mother yelled at me...I got to an accident this morning as I was heading to class this morning...she thought I was retarded because I didn't know what to do...how was I supposed to know I was supposed to call the police to report the incident...Luckily it wasn't my fault, but my mother still think that as a grown ass woman I am retarded.
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chansotheary

apr. 15, 2008: sleep oh thank buddha

What good karma did I commit for my teacher to cancel class...I never went home all this semester when the sun was still up...sadly the only thing I can think of doing is sleep. I have not have the right amount of sleep all this year. Sleep is the only thing that matter to me these days. If I could ask for anything is for a day of sleep and doing nothing at all, where the world will leave me alone all day. That's all I want, all I need. But the life is just not fair and there is nothing I cn do about it.
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chansotheary

apr. 14, 2008: eye glasses

OMG...one day...all my money is gone (okay not really) but so much money is spent. $717 on eye glasses...dear god why is it that in this society we have to spend so much on keeping ourself healthy. Okay not really keeping myself healthy, but I need to see. Mind you that $717 is spent on two glasses...but still it is so much. Mommy is going to owe me money, but knowing her she won't ever paid me back for my sister's glasses. While we are on that subject it appears that her eyes sight now was the same as mine when I was that young...i feel old.
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chansotheary

Apr. 09, 2008: PORTRAIT of MOI

Boredom + Photoshop + Pictures = THESE CRAPPY VEIN PORTRAIT of MOI




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chansotheary

Apr. 07, 2008: Eyes Wide Shut

So I'm taking the cheap way out of doing this blog...I have nothing to say today and appearently all last week...noted by the jump in time. Yes, my life is a bore. Here's a writing I did while I should have been finding something to do with this pathetic life of mine.

Painful memories graced the skin of fallen souls that wraps itself around false reality. Thoughts long forgotten lied in broken pieces as blood splatter across the desert torn ground. One by one, they placed them down, till the dawns of day, waiting, leaving forever more.

Listen to scream that filled the crimson sky, of lost hope that was put to rest. "Buried me now, buried me deep, and leave no trace of who I was once before."

Cover the fragment pieces that prance about in dreadful joy. Hear the voices of deluded mind that brought upon this damn forsaken hell.

"Save me God, in your name I dare to say, you fail me so as this world do so crumble beneath the feet of my fellow men and foe."

Like before, slaughter upon my daughter's grave that did not matter, I stand in rage. Bitter they say, everlasting is only here for a second be. Water on distorted glass, my sight forbids me to see of what you have done to me. Blind me with injustice and I'll walked away with tear stain eyes no thoughts left behind for you to find.

Bring me to my knees, press me down farther in, and I'll lost control in your embrace. Hold me tight until I no longer could breathe, until I am but something and nothing more.

Gone away I am, let me kiss the thoughts that plague my mind of us forever hand in hand. Pretty white dresses danced in the night drenched in wine that tasted so bitter upon my lips that leaves me lying to those who gives a damn.

Mother dearest where have you been when I have fallen into the abyss of my daymare. Nightmare kissed my lips goodbye, plunge me into forever blissful dreams. False reality clouds my mind that traps me in my own self destruction. Watch me wither away, Mother dearest for you led me down the wrong path to where I now stand, ready to push my daughter down to the depth of hell in which I laid.

Bloody screams smear the window to you God…
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chansotheary

Apr. 02, 2008: The subjection of my baby sis

Nothing really happen today but, I just found a few the pictures I took for my photography class in highschool of my little sister. Sadly I subjected her to things an older sister should not do. But hey, it was for a grade and I got an A. The theme was child prostitution and runaway or whatever along that line. Enjoy...Just click on the thumbnail for larger view.


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chansotheary

Apr. 01, 2008: Drama...much

Another day filled with quizzes and exam...My head will go into overload...there is only so much I can retrive from my long term memory before my short term memory screams and yell at me. But that is beside the point. My friend and I had stumble onto a little mistake the school made early one morning...which happens to be the first day of class registration for the seniors. It was sometime around 7:30 in morning and we decided to look at the class offer fall semster again and we found out we could register. Of course we took full advantage. By 10:00 we could no longer get on and half the class we wanted was full. Thank god we got our class already. But here is the point of that short little history...My human bio teacher is Ried who happens to be my bio 151 teacher that I don't like very much.
Today was quite windy...the blossom from the trees (which I thought was fish scale when I first saw it on the ground) was very threatical...reminded me of a romance story...it's disgusting.
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chansotheary

Mar. 28, 2008: Like old ladies

My friends and I are like the strangest group of friends ever! While most people (based on my observation) they hang out with their friends on an everyday bases. My friends and I don't do that!!! We hang out at school because our life really revolves around work and school only. If we want to hang out, we have to plan everything well in advance. Take for example, one of my friend b-day is in May. We already plan it out already! We're going ice-staking...none of us have ever ice-stake before. Oh the pain which will befall us will surely be a thing to look forward to.
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chansotheary

Mar. 27, 2008: I feel old

As I was driving to school, I heard on the radio that there was this online test (and we all know how much I love them) that will determine your real age based on your health risk and whatever not. Now you know me, I couldn't resist. I took it and appearenly I aged 5 years. I feel old. Funny thing is though, my "real age" is actually a favorite number of mine. And truth be told...I don't even know how people can have farovite numbers...
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chansotheary

Mar. 26, 2008: 0995, Oh how I hate you

So I finally decided to pay for my parking tickets. As I looked at the two tickets closely I realize they were issued by the same bastard. 0995 you suck ass...totally suck ass...I hate those parking ticket people with there little motor bike...can't they give a kid a break. We're already broke and a $40.00 fine is not going to help us. I hate the city...with all those money they are grabbing from our pocket you would think they be able to fix this damn place up a bit...appearently they are all greedy bastard. In the word of my friend...

Buddha...would not have threaten you with hell and eternal damnation.But he would totally condem you to a life as a cricket.

I want to squash all of them...
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chansotheary

Mar. 25, 2008: Taxation baby...taxation

I'm deeply depressed...While probably most americans get tax return, money back into their pockets... I owe the IRS money...Yes, I lose money. Not only do I owe the guy for doing my tax but I also owe the federal government tax. That is what I get for getting paid based on commission. Life suck ass...It suck ass so badly I could cry! ToT
While it sucks to pay taxes...I do believe in keeping tax high if the government used the money wisely and not funding it in a war we just don't need.
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chansotheary

Mar. 24, 2008: It Gets a Little Old

Again, I must repeat myself. I am a nerd! I'm here at school all day with one of my friend and between our break...guess what we did?

Online Quizzes

Oh yea it like totally offical...I am a nerd. What kind of college students spends their time taking online quizzes? None! I really should be doing something more productive. I.E. Studing.
I also happen to take a one hour nap and I remind my friend...

Hey, if I snore...wake me up would ya.

Appearently she just let me snore (thankfully it was not loud according to her). Her reason for not waking me was...

You just seemed so peaceful...even with the snoring

Great friend she is.
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chansotheary

Mar. 21, 2008: Waaah (OoO)!.

Another one! Seriously....

Bright Green Envelop...I hate you >: /
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chansotheary

Mar. 20, 2008: Once More...

Once more, I'm the biggest nerd ever! What girl have a full fledge conversation about what game is better or not! There is this one kid in my class and we were simply having small talk just to pass the time and somehow it ended up games such as resident evil and whatever else. I hate to put it but, Grand Thef Auto,....overrated. It is probably the only game that I can say I don't enjoy.
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chansotheary

Mar. 19, 2008: Damn You! Damn You! Parking Ticket You!

I hate my life, that big flashy girl envelopes sits onto of my car and I dread opening it. Parking seriously suck ass here at VCU. I hate those two hour parking zone, only a couple of minutes late and this is what I get. $40.00 fine! Damn You!
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chansotheary

Mar. 18, 2008: To the woe of returning

Here's another pointless blog that absolutely have no substance to it. Anyway, today is my brother's birthday and of course I missed it due to my insane class schedule. Man did I not do nothing during spring break…I really have to like catch up on all my studying. I have like three test/quizzes today…so screwed!
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chansotheary

Mar. 17, 2008: A little tick off the internal clock

Fuck…back to school and of course I missed focused inquiry. Nice going retard! The strangest thing that I do is, I trained my body to wake up at certain times and it takes a while for it to adjust to a new time. Man is this going to be hard and I thought waking up at 8:50 was bad…now I have to readjust my body alarm clock back to 5:50. This is going to be a hell of a week.
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chansotheary

Mar. 16, 2008: To Oz, to Oz on the Yellow Brick Road

So one of the book I bought, I took it to work with me hoping that it would last be the whole day…guess I was wrong. It only took 3 hours to read…Now I'm bored and have nothing to do…today is slow, no customer, no money. ToT Oh the agony of boredom! I really shouldn't have told the boss daughter I went to see the wizard, now all she does is want me to take her to the wizard…how the hell am I going to do that, I just came from the bathroom. Oh this is going to be hell…
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chansotheary

Mar. 15, 2008: Obama vs. Clinton

You know, I actually hate primaries, especially this year primary election. I just feel like the system pits party against one another when they all should be working together. Obama, Clinton you know what I'm talking about! Imagine if you guys work together as a team, damn you most likely be one power house couple in the 08 (I think or it 09) election. Too bad Bill made the suggestion that Obama should be Clinton running mate. Tsk…tsk..tsk Bill no one wants to be label as a second place winner…and VP position is really a bunch of bulls unless the Pres died that you're all set. I bet you all that most Americans can't even name most of VP in our history. Sad really.
But anyway, this race is becoming nastier and nastier and it is slowly seeping down to voters, slipping up the democrats. Gore, why didn't you run again, maybe our world can be save! Oh, BTW, I love Bill, he was a rocking prez!
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chansotheary

Mar. 13, 2008: Client #9

So I'm back at work and of course we have CNN on (thankfully switch over from FOX news) and the big story this week seems to be New York governor (whatever his name is) involvement in a prostitution ring. He is (or was) client number 9. Apparently he's not all that important, wonder who number 1 is? Anyway, as a woman who has some morals, and have always led this straight edge life, I would have to say I have no problem in prostitution, none whatsoever. But I do have a problem in human trafficking, and even though both tend to involve that tread off between sex and money, prostitution is based on ones own free will (not forced) unlike trafficking.
Yea, you may all think I'm a horrible person, how could I let my own 'gender' to be degraded and used as objects in this male dominate world. All I can say is, in my defense, hey if they are okay with it and can make money from sex more power to them. I'm not one to passed judgment and said that what they are doing is wrong. Because honestly, no matter law will be passed to prohibit prostitution, it will still exist (and maybe prohibiting it will only worsen prostitution, i.e. look at what happen during prohibition of alcohol), after all it manage to survive decade and have become known as the oldest profession throughout the world.
But really, back to the topic of NY governor, he's being replaced by a blind man who have confessed to committed adultery as well as did his wife. Finally the Republican can point fingers at Democrats after all those sex scandals Republicans have faced before (ya'll know who I'm talking about, shame on you…passing notes to little boys and trying to hook up with the 'popo'). Dammit, couldn't politicians be more discrete with their sexual escapade and honestly why does it really matter who they screw…just as long as they don't contradict their actions with the legislations they passed.
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chansotheary

Mar. 12, 2008: ...

One day off…Buddha has finally heard my prayer. I'm going back to bed!
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chansotheary

Mar. 11, 2008: To Joy of Cheap Sell Out Prices

I got off of work today around 6:50ish or so, and I have to itch to go shopping. I haven't done it in a long time nor do I find pleasure in it most of the time. Anyway, I really didn't actually want to go shopping at the mall, it was more so I had to return some stuff for my mom. So I dragged my two sisters along (I don't like to be alone) and this one book store was going to be closing because barnes and noble was opening up. I couldn't resist the 40% discount and I felt quite giddy as well as second sister, Na (short for Malina). We're both book worms. I bought three book total and Na picked out one book, the cost came out to be less than $30. Boy was I happy, thank god for that barnes and noble membership card I had, saved me another 10%. I hope I can go back soon, if I can find the time to do so.
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chansotheary

Mar. 06, 2008: Sick and Tired

I've been at school all day today…since 7 in the morning till 9 at night…I'm slowly dying from exhaustion. I don't know how much more I can take this, school and work. I know I bitch and complain about school and work a lot, but it's all that I ever really have to talk about. Because my life revolve around nothing more than school and work. I'm fairly certain I don't know the meaning of fun anymore. In fact, my spring break will not revolve around party or sleeping in, but work! WORK! WORK! WORK! That's all I ever do! I'm so sick of people feet. I so sick of school…all I want is one day where I won't have to worry about anything and just sleep my days away.
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chansotheary

Mar. 04, 2008: To all the man in the world...

Chivalry is not dead! I swear, I think guys (well most) are born with this innate thing to hold the door open for girls. Now what is my problem with it? Amazingly nothing! Now I wouldn't bitch and complain if a guy didn't hold the door for me, I'm just not that type of girl. Bitching and complaining yes, but not over something that stupid. To be honest this is really all I have to say about this whole uninteresting day.
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chansotheary

Mar. 03, 2008: Pathetic as I am...

One more week of school, one more week! Spring break will be here soon. Sadly I have nothing to celebrate. Without school, I have work…how fun. Yes, I'm one of those few pathetic soul out there in this sad and lonely world. I feel as I have reached my thirties already. Everyday is same old thing, wake up, get ready, and off to school or work. As I was heading to the mall this morning (not to shop mind you, but to return something for my mom), I realize I haven't been to the mall in ages. Now, I'm not the biggest fan of the mall but its nice to go roaming around once and awhile. There was so much old people there, I hadn't realize that the mall was a big hung out for old retired people. I feel old too…I wished I had the money to retired early…no school, no work…all fun in the sun.
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chansotheary

feb. 27, 2008: Geek in Hidding

It's official, I'm the biggest closeted geek ever. As I was driving to work from class, I had the radio on. Now, at this point the commercial is on and I'm just too lazy to change the station. Anyway this one commercial came on, announcing there was going to be a festival at the science museum (you see where I'm heading with this). I was like, okay…so basically it was a gaming festival with DDR competition, Call of Duty, you know stuff of that nature. Now, I wouldn't call myself a gamer, but I do enjoy the occasional old school stuff, i.e. ATARI, Nintendo (when it was shape as a box). So when I heard they were going to the classic games, I was literally giddy. And all I could do was laugh like a mad woman when I heard it was the GEEK FESTIVAL. How ironic is that?
But that's not the final straw that solidify my geek in hiding status. I was going over some notes, taking new ones before chemistry class that afternoon (yeah I'm a loser) and I flip to the back of the book and guess what I found? DNA replication at the molecular level. Oh how excited I got and I had to pause and shut the book, because honestly this was getting pathetic with each passing minute. So yeah, it's official I've finally came out of the closet. I am proud (well not really) GEEK.
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chansotheary

feb. 26, 2008: Evolution Speech? Bullshit!

So we're learning about evolution and Darwinism and all the mumble jumble that goes with it in Bio 152. I never realize this until now, but every time the subject of evolution comes up, teachers always makes this speech on how they are not forcing us to believe it but open up our mind…basically a speech on not offending anyone who opposed the idea of evolution. Now I myself am I strong believer of evolution so this little rant might be a little bias and well prejudice.
So here's what I'm thinking, I think those speeches teachers give before an evolution lecture is pointless, especially to people of my age and in high school. The first time anyone is learning about evolution (here in chesterfield, in middle school) is understandable. But, by a certain age we all know what evolution entitles so the speech shouldn't even be given just so teachers won't offend a few or so individual. They should realize with taking any biology class, the idea of evolution is bond to come up. So if they are so highly offended by the idea, why the hell are they taking biology in the first place. Now some may say its require of them, I understand that, but they should also understand by now that evolution is not shoved down their throat. Simply given, teachers are only presented facts and idea surrounding it. So yea, those speeches are pointless and by the fifth and sixth times I'm so over it. Just teach me the damn material and move on with it. People these days are just way to sensitive. They should just suck it up and move on with it.
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chansotheary

feb. 23, 2008: To the Woe of Greed

I could die today…I'm beginning to question my own sanity. Why oh why, did I ever thought that doing nails was an easy thing. Oh yea, quick money! Oh how my greed have come back and bit me in the ass. In this industry, one have to be willing to give up a few brain cells, lose touch with some smell receptor, have a strong stomach, and well build an immunity to anything nasty and funky that emits from someone's feet.
So as I'm sitting at my desk, writing this up I realize Americans really cannot take care of their own feet. How can one go to bed at night knowing that some strange fungus like built up dead skin is growing in between their toe and be okay with it. Do they not believe in taking some kind of implement and removing it themselves. But hey I can't complain, without those people who do not believe in exerting force to scrub their own god forsaken heel, I would be out of a job. So here's to you America, here's to your laziness and inability to take care of yourself.
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chansotheary